Worlds Colliding
Totally by accident, I stumbled upon the school doctor on Twitter. A total OMG! I've not given this woman a second thought in over twenty years. This doctor is supposed to belong to two decades ago, like still living in the school medical bay wearing 80s clothes, and not transcending time like the rest of us, then appearing on the internet. I only discovered her presence because I was searching for something else, and there she was twittering John Prescott. WTF?
I recognised her photo immediately, that grin, the glasses, the glare; all shouting Cruella de Vil. It spelt one thing: evil injections. Yes, NEEDLES.
BCG.
Tetanus.
Rubella.
Well, have you forgotten your school nurse or doctor? Thought not!
In secondary school, we used to line up in the English department - the corridor ajoined the Sick or Medical Bay - one sleeve rolled up, awaiting doom. Look! I'll be ill! I totally don't mind dying here!
Am sure she took great pleasure in a snaking conveyor belt of pupils. Look how many people I can stab today! EVIL SMILE. STAB. THROW. NEXT. EVIL SMILE. STAB. THROW. NEXT. EVIL SMILE. STAB. NEXT. Repeat ad infinitum. This woman must have gone home at the end of the day to sharpen her fangs.
After that BCG injection, I ended up with an infection, which my own GP had to treat. Yes, my arm hurt for weeks afterwards and was bandaged. Did I mention pus? I totally could talk yellow gooey mass here just to gross y'all out, plus I still have the scar to prove it. Yes you really wanted to know that, didn't you?(!)
The only thing I used to get out of, were hearing tests; she used to just test my eyes then wave me along. My ears belonged to a hospital fifty miles away and ToDs, not the school doctor. Look, I'll totally have the hearing test, anything but needles! I've had so many hearing tests in my life - a total veteran - what's one other?
Except she is not labelled as (FORMER) EVIL SCHOOL DOCTOR on Twitter, she describes herself as "a normal granny". That's totally wolf in sheep's clothing like. In disguise as a granny, Twitter Red Riding Hoods everywhere are in grave danger. A whole new level of disturbing.
Moral of the story: don't go exploring on Twitter, you don't know what you might find! The last person I want to stumble on is Nitty Nora The Bug Explorer (nickname for the School Health Visitor, in primary school).
More sensible thoughts may be offered around here, if I ever recover. By my estimation, it will take me at least twenty years.
Comments
This is how many of us non-addicts see twitter; the same idea applies to some people's excessive use of their facebook statuses:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/wab/Twits/
Can anybody tell me why people who are supposedly having the time of their lives at a party/concert/holiday/etc feel the need to play on facebook or twitter on their mobiles? I think they need addiction counselling!
Posted by: JHB | June 14, 2009 8:38 AM
Ha! I take your point, however ...
Addict or not, last night I was scouting for coverage of the situation in Iran (the school doctor find / post was brain space after reading and seeing too many pictures of people being beaten up, and getting arrested).
News sites are way way behind, plus off mark and rather sterile in comparison. Sure Twitter is a lot of noise, but amongst that noise there's real messages. Its not the first time I've used Twitter to get my news, Obama election - BBC was so behind it was unfunny. Same goes for G20. I guess I scout for information direct from activists. After the BNP win, again it was Twitter I turned to. I know far too well how manipulative mainstream news can be.
According to tweets, YouTube and Facebook have been blocked in Iran, phone networks down, as the Persian BBC website. It was coming across that Twitter was activists' means of communication with the outside world (at least last night, I've not checked it this morning). Coupled with journalists, that's where I got my links. Its good for gauging a wider buzz of opinion, too. If something is retweeted (RT) much, then you know the content is of substance or people agree. Granted Twitter attracts a certain type of person, thus cannot be called representative (cf BNP fiasco, most people on Twitter were disgusted).
Twitterfall - one of the better ways for watching noise (you need to select trending key words you are interested in, or customise your own). The current popular hashtag is #IranElection.
History tells us that repressive and cruel governments do not survive. - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to George W. Bush, 2006
Posted by: Alison | June 14, 2009 9:34 AM
Check this out, I'm not the only person who thinks it (cf my comment above). In fact, I wrote a post on Twitter and Iran last night, but its unpublished.
And see this video, protestors helping out the riot police (end of video). Its called humanity. The kind of stuff, there's no way you'd see on any mainstream site. Some photos here plus here. All, found via Twitter.
Posted by: Alison | June 14, 2009 2:33 PM
http://xkcd.com/597/
Posted by: JHB | June 15, 2009 7:52 AM